Fav lesbi
Certified good gurl. Loves gay men. Loves BTS. Has a whole personality and then some.
Certified
File 003 · Personnel · Affectionately classified
Fav lesbi
Certified
Good Gurl TM
Knows ball knowledge better than she knows how to reply to texts. Actually reliable when you need her. Communication skills: 404 not found.
- Subject
- ████████
- Alias
- Good Gurl
- Rank
- 3rd fav HG
Prepared with love, a pigeon, and unlimited rage bait. Replies not guaranteed.
01 · Field notes
The roast, filed properly
Knows ball
Basketball IQ is elite. Texting IQ is a participation trophy that never got mailed.
Pigeon post
Texting her is sending a letter by pigeon. Replies after 7–10 business days. Chats drier than the Sahara.
404 not found
Communication skills have left the chat. They were never in the chat.
Rage-bait victim
Easily rage-baitable: 100%. My willingness to rage bait her: unlimited. This is the friendship.
BTS defender
Unfortunately, I hate BTS, so we have irreconcilable differences. The friendship continues anyway.
02 · Performance review
The numbers do not lie
Communication skills
404Not found
Rage-baitable
100%Documented
Willingness to bait her
∞Unlimited
Reply speed
7–10Business days
Chat humidity
0%Sahara-class
Reliability IRL
A+When you need her
Report card
- Basketball IQA+
- Being a good friendA
- TextingF
- ReplyingINC
- Rage controlD−
- BTS discourseA*
03 · Rage-bait laboratory
She’ll say something. You bait. She gets mad. You laugh.
Mood monitor
Baits landed 0Waiting to be professionally rage-baited.
Status · unbothered
04 · Correspondence
Send a letter by pigeon
Replies after 7–10 business days. Chats are drier than the Sahara. Type something. Watch it leave. Pray.
Status · pigeon on standby
Carrier pigeon
Sahara dryness
pending
05 · Foreign relations
Treaty of irreconcilable differences
Party A · her
Loves BTS
Will defend the discography, the members, and the honour of the entire catalogue. This is not up for debate. Do not test it. You will test it anyway.
Party B · me
Hates BTS
Irreconcilable. On the record. Still shows up. Still rage baits. Still lists her as a favourite person. Diplomacy is a choice.
Friendship: in force.
Signed in class, under a ceiling fan
06 · Operating procedure
The friendship cycle
07 · Verdict
Overall
Fav lesbiGood gurlKnows ballZero commsSlowest texterRage-bait victimBTS defenderThird fav HG
Somehow still one of my favourite people.
Actually reliable when it counts. Professionally untextable. Easily rage-baitable. My third favourite HG. The file stays open.
Filed with love. Do not expect a reply.